The Emotions of Being a Mother

I was fiddling around on Facebook tonight out of boredom while Ella was sleeping next to me, and I made the mistake of clicking on one of those pages about a child that has passed away. I usually know better than to click on those anymore because of how incredibly emotional I get now that I am a mom. I did it anyway though, and it was only minutes before I was in tears for this child and her mother that I had never even heard of 10 minutes earlier. I read through this mother's posts about losing her child to an accident in which she almost drowned and was then in a coma for 14 months and I just couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I looked at the smiling pictures of this 2 year old little girl and felt that I personally had suffered a loss.

This is when the full scope of what being a mother means really hit me. The moment you weep and mourn for a child that you've never met before but immediately empathize with the grief her mother is going through. Everyone talks about how being a mom means being a maid, chauffeur, chef, booboo-kisser, etc. and all of those things are things a mom does but being a mother really means knowing a love so deep and unconditional that you know words will never describe the way you feel about your child but that that will never stop you from trying to explain it to them. Being a mother is crying tears of sadness and pain at the thought of a woman losing the most important thing she has ever accomplished. Being a mother means not having to speak words of comfort to a mom that has lost her child but simply knowing to offer her a shoulder to cry on because no words will ease the pain. Being a mother is finding joy in laying beside your sleeping child at night watching her chest rise and fall with each breath she takes and smiling at the pool of drool she is making. Being a mother is not being able to resist saying "I love you" to your child 100 times a day. Being a mother is knowing to never take for granted the time you have with your child. Being a mother is being willing to openly embrace all of the emotions that come with motherhood and never being ashamed to weep for the pain and loss that comes with living in this world nor being embarrassed to jump for joy everytime your child smiles at you.

Some people would say that I've only been a mother for 16 months so who I am to speak on what other women have done for years, but I believe that every woman that has a child (through any means) knows about all of the emotions that come with parenting. The love, joy, fear, guilt, happiness, sadness, and every other emotion you could possibly imagine are all there from the moment you set eyes on your child.

Before having Ella, I would have read that story on Facebook and been sad for the family that had to experience losing a child. Then I would have moved on. Not out of coldness, but simply because what else was I supposed to do? I didn't understand the true pain that came with losing a child. Now that I have Ella, I feel such a deep hurt for anyone that loses a child that it scares me. How can someone that has never even met this family feel such pain for them?

By being a mother.

Guest article featuring Kendra Thornton: Favorite places to travel!

Hey guys! I'm so excited to be posting this "favorite places to travel" themed article! If you read my last post, then you know that I teamed up to guest write with an expert in the travel industry. Kendra Thornton and I have both written articles about our favorite places to travel. Both of the articles are below. I hope you enjoy them, and be sure to check out Kendra's website for some great travel advice! 

Happy Reading!!
 

Chattanooga, TN: Fun-filled Family Getaway

Last May, my family and I were considering different places to vacation to for a quick, weekend getaway. After researching our options, we finally settled on Chattanooga, TN. Chattanooga offered some of the best indoor attractions coupled with exciting and scenic outdoor adventures. Chattanooga also has a rich history that makes downtown the place to be! Below is a list of just a few of the things that make Chattanooga the best choice for your next family vacation!

1.

Chattanooga Aquarium- This was definitely one of the best highlights from our trip to Chattanooga. The aquarium showcases all kinds of aquatic animals from sharks to alligators to penguins. It even features an IMAX theater along with a riverboat available for tours. There is sure to be something that will thrill every person in your family. The aquarium is a very popular tourist and local hotspot, so definitely be conscious of allowing enough time to explore every part of the aquarium when you plan your visit!

2.

Chattanooga Choo Choo Hotel- This hotel has been one my favorite hotels that I have ever stayed. It is a hotel that used to be a real, working train terminal. There are so many great aspects to this hotel that you could take a good chunk of your day just to explore the grounds. It has everything from pools to gardens to shops and restaurants all on-site. One of the best parts is that you can actually reserve a renovated train car as your hotel room! The location of this hotel is hard to beat as well. It is in downtown and has a shuttle bus stop right outside of the hotel. (TheFREE shuttle bus gives you access to all of downtown including museums and the aquarium. And you can bring your stroller aboard!)

3.

Area museums- I love getting to visit a museum in a new city, and Chattanooga has plenty to choose from. There is a Creative Discovery Museum that is a great place to let the kids get some energy out. There are also multiple museums that offer the adults a little time to appreciate an impressive array of art and history. And there is even a whole museum dedicated to vehicle towing and recovery! All you have to do is decide if you are in a fun, silly mood or a more serious, contemplative one. Either way, there is a museum for you!

4.

Outdoors adventures- One of the absolute best parts of Chattanooga are the amazing outdoors activities that you can participate in. Rock City Gardens offers an exciting  and beautiful nature walk that leads you to Lookout Mountain, which is where you will truly be in awe of the 7-state view it gives you. Don’t worry if you aren’t in excellent shape, though because the walk is easy enough for anyone to be able to conquer. But do wear tennis shoes! Those paths can get slippery with all of the natural waterfalls. Once you have had your fill of climbing up the mountains, it’s time to go way down below. Ruby Falls was my daughter’s absolute favorite part of the whole trip. Ruby Falls is a natural waterfall that is 1,120 ft. below the surface. You get to take an elevator ride that lasts about 30seconds down to the beginning of the trail that leads through the mountain and ends at the waterfall. Along with the colorful lightshow that shines on the waterfall, it is a breathtaking sight. Your tour guide will also give you a brief history lesson about the waterfall, which only serves to make the fact that you are viewing it that much more incredible.

I hope that this list of our favorite parts of Chattanooga has made you consider it for your next vacation. This list is in no way totally comprehensive of all there is to do in Chattanooga because there is just so much. So get on out there and make some new lifelong memories with your family in Chattanooga, TN!

--By Dani Mosley

Why Las Vegas is Still My Favorite Vacation Spot

I enjoy traveling to many different places, but Las Vegas is one of the few places I make it a point to visit at least once a year. It's a perfect getaway if you're looking for some fun and excitement, and the surrounding area offers lots of natural beauty. If you haven't been to Las Vegas lately, I invite you to check out my list of recommendations.

1. Interesting Museums in Las Vegas

One aspect of Las Vegas that I've always found charming is all of the oddball museums and exhibits you can find all over the place. For example, the Atomic Testing Museum on Flamingo Road has all kinds of collections and exhibits on the topic of nuclear weapons and testing. They even have lectures dedicated to the mysterious Area 51, the possible site of an alien spacecraft landing! If you have a fascination with old signs and advertising you shouldn't miss the Neon Museum, which is full of remnants from the city's fascinating past. You can take a photographic tour of the museum's "bone yard" and add to your collection of interesting photos.

2. A Unique Mini Golf Experience

My whole family loves mini golf, and one of our very favorite places to play is KISS By Monster Mini Golf. This unusual mini golf course pays tribute to the unique American rock band that became famous in the 1970s. There is nothing quite like this course, which has 18 holes of bizarre but thoroughly entertaining features, including animated replicas of the band members. It's a challenge to focus on your golf swing as you try to putt the ball into Gene Simmons' head! This is the perfect place to come if you're looking for a fun activity in between meals or before you hit a show or the casino.

3. Eat For Free -If You Can Finish It All

Man vs. Food on The Travel Channel is one of my family's favorite shows, and in Las Vegas there are several places that have created similar challenges for the public. The Texas 3-Pound Challenge at Bally's Tequila Bar gives you 30 minutes to put away a BBQ Bacon Cheese Burger with 12 strips of bacon. If you succeed, you eat for free but if you fail the effort will cost you $35! If you prefer a steak challenge, you can pit your appetite against the 120-ounce Ultimate Steak at the Monte Carlo's Brand Steakhouse. Don't forget your wallet for this one, for it will cost you $250 if you don't clean your plate!

4. Take a Mixology Class

Las Vegas is famous for its bars and clubs, and you can be sure that the city has some of the world's best bartenders. One fun activity I signed up for last time I was in town was a Mixology class at the Monte Carlo, so I could pick up a few drink mixing tricks of my own. This two-hour class is taught by the hotel's very knowledgeable Director of Beverages and includes a tasting. This is a popular class that is limited to four participants, so you should book in advance if you want to sign up for it. Now when I entertain at home, I can mix a few drinks just like the pros!

Las Vegas is one of those cities where it's almost impossible to get bored. There are so many things to see do and even places to stay. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, sites like Gogobot make it easy to plan your trip and read user reviews so you can be prepared to take on the city.

By Kendra Thornton

Excited about new ventures!

Do you ever feel like you have so many amazing ideas but no clue how to execute any of them? Go on, you know you want to raise your hand. I have both of my hands waving wildly in the air right now. Well figuratively since I am typing--and also since I am in the middle of Barnes and Noble and would prefer not to get kicked out for being THAT person. But anyway, I digress. Hmmm...maybe my attention span is why my ideas seem to only stay in my head...Oh well, that's a problem for another day. ;)

I have been having the issue for quite a while now of making what I am passionate about into an actual profitable career. For those of you that don't know, my passion--aside from being Ella's mommy--is definitely my writing (and reading). This blog is currently my only release of this passion that anyone actually gets to read. I have two books that I am working on but haven't made as much progress as I would like. So right now the blog is definitely my main focus. Obviously, Ella is my entire world and that is why I love that I have been able to pair being her mommy with being a writer through this blog. This is all why I am so excited that I just got done writing my first guest-writer article! I can't post the article yet, but it is has been sent off for approval! Yay!! I was so surprised that a woman actually saw my blog and approached me to collaborate on an article about travel that she is doing. Not only is she just a travel expert, but she is extremely well-known in and out of her field. She has done multiple T.V. spots (including the morning shows and "Tyra Banks Show") and has her own travel agency. As soon as I know more about where the article will be posted I will definitely update you guys on where you can go to see it!

Another thing I am really excited about has come about recently from a new friend I have made through my mommies group. Sydni and I have a ton in common and have decided to start coordinating our own mommies group activities (although I still love the group I am currently in), and we are also looking into coordinating some fundraisers to raise awareness and money for excema. Her son suffers from a pretty severe case that landed him in the hospital dealing with some really painful and difficult things. Therefore, she is very passionate about it. And I am passionate about anything that helps out others, especially kids! A 3rd thing we are looking into is also doing some professional organizing on the side. She has an interior design degree so that is right up her ally. Now granted, my poli sci degree has nothing to do with that, but I'm going to make it work. LOL.

All of these things may not all happen immediately or some may have to get pushed to the side if it becomes too much of a task to take on, but I am just so happy to have things to focus my energy on outside of parenthood. And I am really thankful that Syndi is just as motivated as I am. Being lonely here in Birmingham has definitely been an issue lately, so I am glad that I am starting to meet people and make friends. I still wish I could have brought all of my friends to Birmingham with me, but sometimes even I can't get my way. :-D Don't tell KT I said that, though. He might try to use it against me the next time I convince him to bring me Starbucks home. ;)



Okay, seriously, please tell me that I am not the only one that has a mind full of ideas and a calendar that is completely empty of plans!!

Hormones are a B***h

Seriously. Crazy hormones=crazy crying sessions convinced you are the worst mom ever. Well, they do for me at least. I suppose I should give a bit of the backstory here. First of all, I have the Nexplanon, which means my hormones haven't been right in over a year. Most days I can just control it better. Some days, like tonight, they send me over the edge.

It all started because Ella has a diaper rash. And KT believes that I left a potty diaper on her for too long and that caused the rash. He says that two days in a row, he woke up, and she had pottied and I had not yet changed it. Yes, this happened. I apparently didn't realize that I needed to check her diaper every 5 minutes to ensure that she didn't potty right before he woke up. Now keep in mind, he has been working overnights for a few days so he has actually been sleeping during the day and only has a couple hours a day to be able to spend with us. So this means that I take care of her pretty much all day everyday, which is usually no big deal. Not until tonight. I said she has a diaper rash and he responds that it is because I left two diapers on her too long (even though he has no idea how long either diaper was actually on her). Because I'm on crazy hormone schedule right now, I basically take this as him telling me I'm a terrible mother. Is this rational? No, not at all. Does he think I'm a bad mother? No. Am I bad mother? No. Is Ella well taken care of by both of her parents? Yes. Does all of this call me down?

NO!!!

Thus, I am crying while I lay in bed beside Ella as she sleeps because I'm convinced KT called me a bad mom. Thanks to my irrational, crazy, overly-dramatic hormones!

****I am not responsible for anything I post during this current state. Blame it on the hormones.****

Need a break!!

Today was the day where I reached the breaking point. I have been stuck in the house for days---thanks polar vortex, KT has been working up to 18 hours a day, Ella is going through a whiny phase, and I had to get out!!!

I am literally sitting in the Starbucks inside of Barnes & Noble writing this, applying for jobs, and working on my book. And it is exactly what I needed. I was going stir-crazy in the house. KT and Ella were definitely bearing the brunt of my frustration. I was snapping at both of them constantly. And KT is in just as bad of a mood from being so tired from working so much, so we were just feeding off of each other's negativity. It was a vicious cycle. Not to mention that Ella is going through the worst whiny phase right now, so she is constantly just whining for attention, juice, snacks, anything really. I'm pretty sure that she doesn't even know why she is whining half the time. So I definitely had a bad day for following through with my no yelling resolution. I knew this point was coming soon and today I just had to do nothing except get out of the house.

I also think I am having some issues with the fact that I got a taste of going back to work and getting to have adult interaction, and now I am back to only talking to a one year old for hours upon hours. I love being home with Ella, but I gotta find some friends up here that are available to get together. I know a couple people, but it is so hard to coordinate schedules. What I really need is time with girlfriends away from the kids for a while!! I think I need a vacation too. Man, I need a lot right now. Maybe Ella gets this whiny thing honestly....

Crunchy or Silky??

Recently, I was checking out some posts on my mommies group website and I came across a post about being a "crunchy parent". Frankly, I had no clue what this meant. Obviously, I have been living under a rock because most everyone else did. So I had to get to Googling to find what this very strange-sounding style of parenting is. I found quite a few websites that detail not only what a "crunchy" parent is but also what being a "silky" parent means.

Basically, a crunchy parent is one that believes in all things natural and organic. Such things like cloth diapers, baby-wearing, breastfeeding, extended-breastfeeding, delayed or selective vaccinations, homemade organic baby food, natural and homemade cleaning products, co-sleeping, no circumcision, no cry-it-out, no spanking or yelling, etc. A silky parent is essentially the opposite of this. And a "scrunchy" parent is one that falls in the middle somewhere. I've decided that I am pretty much a scrunchy parent. KT and I try to do as many of the crunchy style parenting techniques that we can, but there are several things that we are much more silky on. For example, we knew we would breastfeed as long as we can (which we did for 6 months), we have and still are co-sleeping (although we are trying to get her back in her crib currently), we try to buy organic when we can, we are dabbling in making our own cleaning products (first batch of homemade laundry detergent was a success), we do not believe in cry-it-out, and we did practice baby-wearing at times. However, things like vaccinations and circumcision (if Ella had been a boy) are things we are very set on. I used to believe that I was set against cloth diapers and extended-breastfeeding, but I have become much more lax in that area lately. I would like to attempt cloth diapers for the next baby, and I believe I would be able to handle breastfeeding past one year. Although, I still do not think I would go past two years at the max. I am trying to practice the no yelling or spanking, but I do raise my voice sometimes and pop a hand. I am trying to put a lid on that though. Maybe I should add that to my list of resolutions!

I found a couple quizzes that are fun to take to see where you fall on the crunchy or silky scale.

•  How crunchy are you?
• How sillky are you?

I found out that I am "sprinkled with granola" for my crunchy level, and I am 70% silky. I think that I am slowly becoming more and more crunchy though. And I am pretty happy about that. So how crunchy, silky, or scrunchy are you? Take the quizzes and find out, and share below what your results are and what you are crunchy/silky about. By the way, please tell me I am not the only person that really didn't know what these terms meant!
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It's 2014! That means it's time to make all of those changes we always talk about but never actually do!

Wow. It is already a new year. And I haven't blogged since September of the last year! Bad, bad blogger! I could tell you all of the dozens of excuses that I have for why I have neglected the blog, but it basically boils down to laziness. Plain and simple. There has been so much going on that I just didn't have any energy left over to put into the blog. But that is about to all change!

The last few months of 2013 brought lots of new things, some good and some not so good. We had all of the holidays from Halloween to Christmas, and those were all great. Ella had a blast with all of the celebrating and traveling that we did. In November we got to celebrate Ella's first birthday, and that was amazing! We had such a great party, even if Ella did make me hold her the entire time. I also got a job in October...and then got laid off from said job in December due to budget cuts. That was a tough break because I really liked where I was working. But it was definitely hard to leave Ella..for both of us. And to be honest, we are still dealing with the ramificatons from that period of time. She has a fierce attachment to me now and cannot handle me even going to the bathroom. Trying to fix that ASAP. KT is still working the new job he got and it's going okay. I know this isn't something he wants long-term, but it works for now. I also am now a part of a book club with my mommies group, and I am loving it! I will upload some pictures very soon of Ella!

So back to 2014 and the changes that I plan on making this year. The following are my resolutions:

1. Put down the social media and focus on Ella more. Even though I am home with her I feel like we don't play games, read books, etc. enough. So that means that I am limiting my time on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I'll still be posting pictures of Ella though, so make sure you follow me on all of the above to stay updated!
2. We are going to be healthier if it is the last thing I do! We have become seriously lax about our green smoothies, so those are definitely coming back. We are also doing things like switching to whole wheat and whole grain as much as possible. Going to try to buy more organic too.
3. Another one of my goals this year is to be more proactive in doing what I love to do..writing. I have this blog which is definitely going to get more attention this year, but I also want to do some freelance writing and write some book reviews. Reading and writing are my passions (outside of Ella of course), so this is the year to make them my priorities too!
4. Volunteering is also on my list. I have volunteered with Big Brother Big Sister in the past, but I want to do more work with the Children's Hospital here in Birmingham. I want Ella to grow up with a sense of gratitude for what she has, not with an air of entitlement.
5. Finally, financial planning is a must for this year also. We want to be in a house soon, so it's time we get serious about making that a reality.

I am definitely being ambitious with all of these goals and plans, but I really hope to be able to stick with them. So, do you have any resolutions or goals for this year? Share them! Who knows, I might adopt one of yours to add to my list!

 When Daddy does bathtime...

 

My angel