Monday, April 22, 2013

I have a confession...

Today I decided that I cannot keep my secret obsession a secret any longer. What I am about to tell you may seem a bit shocking, but I know that the first step to dealing with a problem is admitting that you have the problem. I hope that you do not judge me and that some of you may even be able to relate. I started to realize that I had a bit of an obsession last summer, but since having Ella I can tell that it really is an addiction. I have a problem.

Hello. My name is Dani Mosley and I am a picker. A booger picker. Ella's booger picker to be precise. Well, actually, any child, but I'm just most comfortable with Ella. Before you judge, let me explain.

I cannot stand to see a child with a nasty nose. Seriously, can't stand it. Whenever I see a booger in Ella's (or any random child), I have the urge to get it out. I can't bare to look at it. Luckily, I am able to control my urge around children I do not know (mainly for fear of being arrested for attacking a child), but when it comes to Ella, there is no stopping me! I first realized my true hatred of booger-filled noses at the daycare I worked at last summer. I was constantly wiping noses because kids in daycare are the worst. They seem to always have stuffed up noses. So I decided it was my duty to rid them of these boogers. Miss Dani to the rescue! Prepped with blue gloves, a booger-sucker (AKA an aspirator but booger-sucker sounds cooler), and a baby wipe. The kids didn't stand a chance. No parent would pick up a nasty-nosed child on my watch!

Since having Ella, my obsession has just compounded. KT is constantly taking Ella away from me when I go on one of my "digging expeditions". He just takes her and shakes his head. But, thankfully, Ella doesn't really seem to mind usually. Another testament that she is definitely meant to be my child! She will just let me dig away until I have reached my limit for that particular session and then she just turns her head away. It really works out quite well for both of us. And I know that I will never have that child that is running through the mall with the nose that makes everyone cringe and take a step back!!!

And, honestly, I get such a sense of satisfaction when I get those nasty boogers out that I do not see me stopping my addiction anytime soon, but I do feel better having gotten this off of my chest. Seriously, it feels so rewarding! (By the way, I also have this feeling towards ear wax! I clean Ella's ears constantly! I am also that weird person that Youtube's ear wax removal videos and feels so accomplished when the doctor pulls that big ball of wax out. If you haven't ever watched one of these videos, you should. Like right now. The Indian ones are the best!) You may see me in a different light now, but I can accept that. I hope you don't judge me too critically though! :)

Okay, so this maybe wasn't the most profound blog post ever, but it did make you smile or maybe even chuckle, didn't it? :) Or maybe you just cringed, gagged, or stared dumbfounded at the screen. Either way, mission accomplished!

Now go Youtube those ear wax videos. You know you want to!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Some long overdue pictures

 City wide Easter Egg Hunt

 In our Easter outfits (my green did not match at all!)

She's too cute!

Deanne's wedding

Ella is 5 months!!!!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Disappointment is a hard pill to swallow

I am not usually one to admit if the actions of another person are upsetting to me, especially not in such a public forum, but disappointment has been a feeling I have had to get accustomed to lately. And that in itself is disappointing. Even before I got pregnant with Ella, I knew that my choices with my life would make others unhappy. But this is my life. Unfortunately, several people do not seem to understand that part.

Growing up in a small town in Alabama has its perks, but it most definitely has its downfalls. Namely, close-mindedness. I always knew that I didn't really see things the way that most of my peers and several of my family members did. But I was also raised to be respectful, so I kept my mouth shut about my differences of opinion. Until I went to college at least. Even though I stayed in-state for college, I was exposed to completely new things. Ultimately, those new experiences are what led me to Ella. And I regret none of my choices. Ella is an amazing person and has truly shown me what unconditional love really means. How could I not be happy with having her in my life?

I knew that when I told people that I was pregnant there would be some naysayers. However, I did not think that those same people that loved me and raised me my entire life would simply walk away. But they did. There are multiple people that I have not seen or even spoken to since I announced my pregnancy. My heart hurts to think of this, but it also hurts to think that they will not know Ella. She brings such joy and happiness to my life, and I want to share her with everyone I love so they can experience even a fraction of what I feel everyday. I am not able to wrap my head around the thought that I would love someone less or completely abandon them based on their decision to find happiness in the way that they choose. And how do you not just love a baby??

None of this is to say that I love anyone in my family less or that I am angry with them. I am truly not. I'm just disappointed. Luckily, there have been so many people in my family and so many friends that have completely supported Ella and I. Those are the people that make the disappointment a little easier to handle. Some days (like today, well the last week actually) are just harder to deal with. Disappointment and hurt come in all shapes and sizes, but the good thing about having these types of weeks is that you learn that you can withstand so much more than you thought possible. And I can't say all of my disappointment has come from family alone. Sometimes those you are the closest to really can hurt you the most. But I do know that before Ella I would have never been able to handle hearing the things I have been told or experiencing the deep hurt that comes with learning that things may not work the way you envisioned. But knowing that Ella needs me has made me incredibly strong for her sake. I will do everything I can to make sure she is happy and knows that she is loved. Ultimately, Ella will be happy. And because of her, I will be happy. No one can take that away.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Life can get in the way sometimes!

I can't believe that it has been so long since I have gotten to blog. But we have had so much going on. There was Easter, family in town, and hosting a bachelorette party. With all of that, blogging had to be put on a back burner. But I am back now!

First, a quick update on Ella. She is still amazing. :) She is rolling over like crazy, can sit up un-supported for a few minutes at a time, and eats like a pro! She seriously has not met a pureed veggie or fruit that she doesn't like. We had a great Easter and visits from the families. I was really happy that KT's family was able to come up for a bit to get to see her, but I wish they could have stayed longer to really get to spend some time with her and see all of the amazing things she can do! And hopefully, my Nanny will get to see her soon too. It is hard to live away from the family, but it is great to feel like we are really out on our own.

Okay, so on to the topic of today's post. Time management. How do we do it all? The last couple of weeks have really shown me that there just is not enough time in the day to accomplish everything that we need to do. Sometimes I really feel like I wake up, feed Ella, change some diapers, put her down for naps, maybe get something to eat, get a bit of cleaning done, and then suddenly it is 11 p.m.! Where did the time go?? There are so many tasks that I assumed I would be able to get done while I was staying home with Ella, yet hardly any of them have actually been checked off my list. I definitely admire the moms who seem to always be put together, on time, and well-fed! :) Food definitely gets sacrificed for me! But I can't help but wonder, are they really as on top off things as they seem? If so, how do they do it?

I feel so overwhelmed sometimes that when I do have some free time I can't even bring myself to get off of the couch. The fact that I haven't gone back to work yet seems to just be making the issue worse. I have no real reason to get up and brush my hair in the morning or actually change out of my pajamas. At least, that's how I feel. I really do try to talk myself into getting up and making an effort but then I remember that I have nothing to do other than take care of Ella all day. And frankly, she doesn't care if my hair is brushed or not because she is going to yank on it either way. How does a new mommy learn to manage her time and still feel motivated to get out of bed and put some real clothes on?? I definitely need some good advice on this one! So, got any??

P.S. I can't even make this post as long as I want it to be because I have to go get some dinner ready for when KT gets home in about 30mins. But I WILL be back tomorrow. And I will be prepared with some new pictures and videos!