Monday, April 22, 2013

I have a confession...

Today I decided that I cannot keep my secret obsession a secret any longer. What I am about to tell you may seem a bit shocking, but I know that the first step to dealing with a problem is admitting that you have the problem. I hope that you do not judge me and that some of you may even be able to relate. I started to realize that I had a bit of an obsession last summer, but since having Ella I can tell that it really is an addiction. I have a problem.

Hello. My name is Dani Mosley and I am a picker. A booger picker. Ella's booger picker to be precise. Well, actually, any child, but I'm just most comfortable with Ella. Before you judge, let me explain.

I cannot stand to see a child with a nasty nose. Seriously, can't stand it. Whenever I see a booger in Ella's (or any random child), I have the urge to get it out. I can't bare to look at it. Luckily, I am able to control my urge around children I do not know (mainly for fear of being arrested for attacking a child), but when it comes to Ella, there is no stopping me! I first realized my true hatred of booger-filled noses at the daycare I worked at last summer. I was constantly wiping noses because kids in daycare are the worst. They seem to always have stuffed up noses. So I decided it was my duty to rid them of these boogers. Miss Dani to the rescue! Prepped with blue gloves, a booger-sucker (AKA an aspirator but booger-sucker sounds cooler), and a baby wipe. The kids didn't stand a chance. No parent would pick up a nasty-nosed child on my watch!

Since having Ella, my obsession has just compounded. KT is constantly taking Ella away from me when I go on one of my "digging expeditions". He just takes her and shakes his head. But, thankfully, Ella doesn't really seem to mind usually. Another testament that she is definitely meant to be my child! She will just let me dig away until I have reached my limit for that particular session and then she just turns her head away. It really works out quite well for both of us. And I know that I will never have that child that is running through the mall with the nose that makes everyone cringe and take a step back!!!

And, honestly, I get such a sense of satisfaction when I get those nasty boogers out that I do not see me stopping my addiction anytime soon, but I do feel better having gotten this off of my chest. Seriously, it feels so rewarding! (By the way, I also have this feeling towards ear wax! I clean Ella's ears constantly! I am also that weird person that Youtube's ear wax removal videos and feels so accomplished when the doctor pulls that big ball of wax out. If you haven't ever watched one of these videos, you should. Like right now. The Indian ones are the best!) You may see me in a different light now, but I can accept that. I hope you don't judge me too critically though! :)

Okay, so this maybe wasn't the most profound blog post ever, but it did make you smile or maybe even chuckle, didn't it? :) Or maybe you just cringed, gagged, or stared dumbfounded at the screen. Either way, mission accomplished!

Now go Youtube those ear wax videos. You know you want to!

10 comments:

Angela Mosley said...

lol! That is all I have to say booger! :D !

Lyndsey Mosley said...

Haha, I decided to do a lighter, sillier post tonight!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I see you differently now. I applaud you. I cannot stand nasty lil barefoot children running around with snotty, dried up booger noses. Gross. I cannot even begin to tell you how much snot bubbles gross me out. Haha! -Christy

Lyndsey Mosley said...

LOL I must also confess that I am scared that I will stretch her nostrils out from picking them. LOL and then she will have my nostrils!!! AHH!!

Anonymous said...

Me and u r alike i am the same way.. I hate nasty noses and Mouths and ears.. Lol
Love ya
Heather

Anonymous said...

Me and u r alike i am the same way.. I hate nasty noses and Mouths and ears.. Lol
Love ya
Heather

Lyndsey Mosley said...

Lol we definitely are! I just can't stand it! Love you!

shawna mosley said...

So glad you do not randomly assault children with a booger sucker!! LOL

Lyndsey Mosley said...

Lol I do very good to control my urges in public with random children. But it's very hard. You can just tell some noses are just packed with boogers ready for the pickin'. ;)

Krista Johnson said...

Ella is one clean little lady. I must say though...OMG, ewww! I'm never taking your advice for youtube videos again! Maybe I just saw the wrong ones, but yuck. Now YOU need to search "HUGE CYST EXTRACTION" in youtube. First result... and that's not even the worst!