So we hit a milestone on March 23, 2013. Ella can now roll all the way over. And I actually caught her first roll on video! She struggled for a couple of days before to get all the way over, but she kept getting so close. Finally, she actually made it all the way over. Which is great! I am such a proud mommy. BUT now she seems to think it is the coolest thing ever. I lay her on her quilt, turn away, she immediately rolls over, waits a few minutes for me to notice, cries to get rolled back on her back, and then repeats the process. Over and over and over. It was super cute the first few times, but not as much now. LOL! It takes me twice as long to get the dishes washed and laundry folded because of how many times my genius baby wants to play her game.
Which leads me to the topic of today's post. Are we being too indulgent as parents?? I personally believe Ella is too young to be spoiled and know how to "get her way", but I realize a lot of parents believe that we (young, new-generation moms) are way too indulgent with our children. Everyone that knows me knows that I like to do things by the book. Literally. I research everything and then make what I feel is the best decision. And a lot of times this decision contradicts what the moms before me did. For example, Ella went through a period where she was pretty fussy when it was time to go to bed. A lot of people told me to just let her cry. She would eventually learn to go to sleep on her own. However, I couldn't do it. I am not a fan of the cry-it-out method, especially at such a young age. KT and I had many discussions about what we should do, but I really just could not bring myself to let her cry. Therefore, I decided to stick with my method of putting her to sleep, laying her down, and picking her up if she wakes up and cries. It may have been tiring for a while but now Ella goes to sleep just fine. I no longer have to nurse her to get her to sleep. When she falls asleep, I lay her in her pack-n-play and she sleeps through the night. Rarely, does she wake up before 6-7 a.m. the next morning. And she falls asleep usually by 10 at the latest every night. And the best part is she wakes up so happy. She calls for us (not by crying, but by actually yelling for us LOL), we peek over the side of her pack-n-play, and she has the biggest smile on her face. Every morning this is our routine and I love that she has complete faith that we will be there to get her. I never worry that she is unsure of whether or not we will respond to her cries.
This is not to say that I think that parents that choose different methods from mine are wrong. Every parent knows what is best for their children. I have simply chosen to parent with a more attachment parenting style. I do not plan on going full-blown attachment parenting (nursing at 5 years old?? Not gonna happen!), but I do believe in the reasons behind attachment parenting. So I am blending some of these techniques with some of my own choices. And so far I am happy with the results.
But I have definitely noticed that some older moms think that the attachment parenting style makes your children way too dependent. I literally have had older women that I do not even know try to tell me how to take care of my daughter, which is incredibly rude. I know my child better than anyone else (besides her daddy of course), so I do not need anyone else telling me what to do! And I really disagree that Ella will become too dependent on us. At this age, I love that she has a deeper connection with KT and I than she does with anyone else. I believe that her confidence in us and our love for her will allow her to become a more secure child, teen, and adult.
But what do you guys think? What is your parenting style? Do you believe that new-generation moms are too easy on their kids? Are we making them too dependent? I would love to hear your opinion (even if it disagrees with mine)!!
4 comments:
I think that you know Ella better than anyone else and that you should know what is best for her. What works for her might not work for every other baby. Its about trial and error sometimes. Please do not cut her steak when she is 23 though. ;-)
Haha, I cut my own steaks now!! KT does still peel my potatoes though!! Lol. I'm sure KT will make sure she is cutting her own steaks. :)
I agree with your method, I could never allow a /baby that normally does not fuss and cry, 'to cry it out'. And I agree the deepest bonds should be with the parent; the comfort and trust of love from a parent should be unrivaled!
It is unfortunate that many people do not realize that when they are telling others how to parent, that parenting is subjective and each family creates their own unique bonds based on this alone.
Follow your instincts, you clearly are a loving and committed mother, and that is the most important thing of all.
I agree completely!! Parents all have their own ways and one parent shouldn't tell another that their methods are wrong. Especially if the child is happy and all his/her needs are met.
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